Player Profiles

Name: Ross Frampton

Age: 20

Club Nickname: dogshit, ramjam, rosco, frammy

Shirt Number: 9

Position: Midfield, Striker

Occupation:Plasterer

Car: ford focus

Favourite team(s): Chelsea, Ross County

Best player you’ve played with: Paul Wilkins

Toughest opponent: Ross Featherstone

Best goal you ever scored: when ever me and piggy play up front in training and we score, there always great goals

Favourite ground: the new den, millwall

Worst ground: cuckfield, (it’s cursed)

Proudest moment: winning the Lewes Sunday premier football league

Most embarrassing moment: getting my jeans ripped by jimmy at the football piss up

Music likes: dance, hip hop

Favourite film/ TV programme: babecast, goals on Sunday

Married/single: single

Where will you be in 10 years time: with a chick and still playing for the brook

Name: Dave Scarlett

Age: 19

Club Nickname: Animal?? Rocky?? Machine??

Shirt Number: 15(favoured)

Position: DM,AM R/L ST

Occupation: Electrician

Car: Punto

Favourite team(s): None

Best player you’ve played with: Luke Turner. Bloody Good Player

Toughest opponent: Piggy, Rarely slips up and reads game well

Best goal you ever scored: 30 yard run round 7 player then slotting past the keeper (Jarvis Brook 2nd’s 2004/2005 season)

Favourite ground: Ringmer

Worst ground: Jarvis Brook Far Bottom Pitch

Proudest moment: Winning County Youth Championship

Most embarrassing moment: Missing From 3 Yards (Open Goal) Whilst Playing Under Chris Frampton

Music likes: Garage, Hip-Hop, Dance

Favourite film/ tv programme: Human Traffic

Married/single: Single

Where will you be in 10 years time: Famous

Name: Paul Neale

Age: 25

Club Nickname: Nealer, Kojack, Pharell, Iain Dowie

Shirt Number: 2,3,4,5,6,9,12,14,15

Position: Defence, Emergency Striker

Occupation: Electrician

Car: Ford Fiesta,Ford Escort Van

Favourite team(s): Everton, Brighton

Best player you’ve played with: Russell Anderson, Paul Wilkins ,James Pett

Toughest opponent: Gareth Barry

Best goal you ever scored: Overhead Kick vs Lewes Bridgeview 05

Favourite ground: New Den Millwall

Worst ground: Balcombe shit pitch dislocated shoulder,pitch too far from changing rooms

Proudest moment: Scoring in cup final at the dripping pan

Most embarrassing moment: Going bald

Music likes: Flashdance fused with Mc hammer

Favourite film/ tv programme: Goodfellas/Im Alan Partridge,The office,Soccer Am

Married/single: Player

Where will you be in 10 years time: Bossing the old man around at work, Married 2 kids(Girls don’t want them to be a kojack like me)Playing for Jarvis Brook vets

Name:Daniel Berwick Esquire

Age: 24

Club Nickname: Piggy

Shirt Number:2

Position: World Class Striker being held back in centre Defence (Just ask dogshit)

Occupation: Quantity Surveyor

Car: best not to say, I’ll only write it off

Favourite team(s): Jarvis Brook, Man Utd & Brighton

Best player you’ve played with: Graham Berwick

Toughest opponent: I’ll let you know when I find one

Best goal you ever scored: the trusted Berwick left foot swinger

Favourite ground:The ground where we hold a 100% win record Hastings

Worst ground: Uckfields Slope

Proudest moment:Playing along side Glen Brown

Most embarrassing moment: Anything to do with smallface

Music likes: anything by Status Quo

Favourite film/ tv programme: Soccer AM

Married/single: Single

Where will you be in 10 years time: Either in the Premiership or helping wickens build Jarvis Brooks more than deserved stand

Name: Adam Staton

Age: 24

Club Nickname: Statto

Shirt Number: 5

Position: Normally centre back but occasionally pushed up to centre midfield when we’re especially desperate. Still awaiting the day when I reclaim the number 10 shirt I gave up at age 12

Occupation: Market Researcher

Car: Share a Ford Focus with my Mum. Rock n Roll.

Favourite team(s): Derby County, the Brazilian beach volleyball team and the Red Peppers on Ready Steady Cook

Best player you’ve played with: Neil Baker, if nothing else he always provides entertainment, especially his patented special move, the “Shouting Post Kick”

Toughest opponent: Neil Baker, on his day he does more for the opposition than they ever could

Best goal you ever scored: The fifth of my five for the under 10s to thrash the Crowborough scum 10-0. It’s been downhill ever since

Favourite grounds: Where else but the mighty Limekiln with it’s wonderful slope and forever flooded goal mouths. Oh, and Pride Park

Worst grounds: Anywhere in fu*king Eastbourne and The Shitty Ground, Nottingham

Proudest moment: Being asked to take a penalty for the Brook in a shoot out at Lewes

Most embarrassing moment: Calmly stroking the aforementioned penalty straight to the keeper and sending us out of the cup

Music likes: Girls Aloud, The Village People & of course, the mighty Quo.

Favourite film/ tv programme: Borat

Married/single: Single despite Ralph’s best attempts to bed me

Where will you be in 10 years time: No idea, I struggle knowing where I’ll be in 10 minutes, let alone 10 years.

Name: Dan Lawrence

Age: 19

Club Nickname: Jugsy, Tipex and ginge by some

Shirt Number: used 2 b 8 but now wotevas left in the bottom of the bag

Position: Utility man, like 2 play right wing but am sometimes used at the back 2 hoof it with piggy!

Occupation: Plasterer

Car: Ford Fiesta

Favourite team(s): Jarvis Brook, Chelsea and Lyon

Best player you’ve played with: Dave Scarlett

Toughest opponent: Gillingham

Best goal you ever scored: 2 against Willingdon

Favourite ground: The New Den or Hastings

Worst ground: Cuckfiled or Newick

Proudest moment: Winning the league and cup last year

Most embarrassing moment: Juggling the ball in the net 4 about 30 seconds tryin 2 clear it!

Music likes: Most stuff

Favourite film/ tv programme: Watchin chelsea or porn, The OC (fit chicks!)

Married/single: Mmmmmmmmmmmm

Where will you be in 10 years time: Who Knows